TOUGH
by Lizzy Rebel
Summary: [oneshot, 34] You weren’t supposed to find your soul mate when you were ten. But then again… he had never been one to follow the rules


_Disclaimer:_ I do not own _Kids Next Door _in anyway. They belong to _Cartoon Network_ and Mr. Warburton.

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**{{Codename: Kids Next Door}}**

[[_Operation: T.O.U.G.H._]]

T**ormented**

O**ver**

U**nwanted**

G**irl**

H**ugs**

You weren't supposed to find your soul mate when you were ten. But then he had never been one to follow the rules.

In fact, you could say he enjoyed breaking them. A lot. He liked to break things… _a lot_. It was fun and it allowed every emotion he felt to come out in one fetal blow that could dent a wall, rip the punching bag from its hinges.

And it was a lot better then evaluating those emotions.

But, if there was one thing he had learned—and he tried not to—it was that you can only run from your feelings for so long. Eventually those annoying, pesky emotions caught up to you… and when they did you were as good as gone.

Damn the girl with her cruddy monkeys and cruddy hugs and cruddy smiles. Damn everything about her. She made him this gooey eyed lover boy and he was only twelve. She was supposed to be the last thing on his mind right now. She was just a blasted, cruddy girl!

However, that cruddy girl had a way of getting under your skin so that no matter how hard you scratched she would never come out. That way, whenever you weren't careful, you would see her face and her smiles and her monkeys… and most of all her hugs. Oh, especially her hugs.

He'd loved her forever—well, three years _was_ forever in a child's mind—even though he had fought like hell to shake off those feelings. Eventually, he became comfortable with these feelings of love she gave him, though he hadn't told anyone about them yet… not even her.

Never would he forget the look in her eyes whenever she smiled or laughed at something that was exceptionally funny. Or the way she teased him, probably knowing he loved her. And no, he would not forget those hugs she gave him.

Maybe he pushed her away whenever she wrapped those skinny arms of hers around his middle. Maybe he called her a nasty name. But secretly, he held on a little longer then he had to. He wanted to remember what she felt like… or at least try to make an imprint of her on his flesh so that even if he did forget about this girl a part of her would be there with him, always.

She made him feel naked. Her eyes could strip away every pretend he had wrapped around himself. She was the worst kind of vixen, a generous one. Loving, laughing, giving. She was a light shining on his eyes and he could not shy away from it. He was drawn to it. A moth to the flame.

Sometimes he would wonder if she realized. He thought she might. It was the way she acted. A flirt, a tease, but in a gentle way as if she was trying to say those feelings he had were all right. Or maybe she was just trying to let him down easy? Or maybe she just didn't see it? No one could tell with that girl.

Soon, he knew, he wouldn't remember her. Just like she wouldn't remember him. That burned him deeply, knowing that neither of them would remember. But what burned him the most was the fact that he would never have the courage to tell her how he felt; even knowing she wouldn't remember in less then two years.

Yes, that made him a coward. He wasn't as tough as he pretended to be. He was nothing more then a coward hiding behind an angry scowl and an orange hoodie. He wouldn't dare speak his true feelings out loud—he had already been ribbed for them when they had been unconfirmed and he didn't want to imagine what the teasing would be like when the truth came out.

Their time together was ending, he knew it. He could feel the fabric of time slipping between his fingers as he tried desperately to cling to the gossamer threads. _Just a few more moments… just a few more like this._

And he knew she knew it, too. She cast serious eyes in his direction now. As if before their emotions, their relationship, had been nothing more then a game to her—something to take up her time—but now she realized how close to their end they really were. He thought she looked like she wanted to shake him, make him spit out the truth.

He wasn't sure if he wanted her to or not.

But he knew it was almost too late now. Soon—so soon; how could it be this soon?—he would lose all his precious memories of her. There would be nothing more then an empty spot in his heart that she had once filled.

When he was gone he wondered if she would miss him. He thought, hoped, she would. Before it was too hard to tell. She had loved everyone equally, but that had been before. Now she seemed to take special notice of him. The tender way she said both of his names or the way she smiled at him, tired but loving, and the way she had squeezed him that last time. It had been as if she was trying to leave her mark on him, so he couldn't erase her completely from his life.

Forgetting her would be the hardest, toughest, thing he would do. He would suffer from the loss of her for years to come. No one would take her place in his heart, he knew that. She was his first love, his true love, his soul mate.

Once on a television show they had said you weren't supposed to find your soul mate until you were an adult. He hadn't listened, he had already fallen… and he hoped on some level she had too. And despite what she said, he knew she was _the one_. The everything. The be all, see all, do all, end all for him.

Even if he married someone that wasn't her, because he couldn't find her or remember her, he knew without a doubt he would always feel like he was missing something. Inside he would yearn for another woman. Maybe that would ruin his marriage, maybe that would emotional scar his children, but he could not stop the way his heart felt.

Until he found her again, in this spinning chaos they called Earth, he knew he would be incomplete. She was his second half—the missing peace. The Innocence to his Experience. The Yin to his Yang. His soul mate.

Only then, when he had her in his arms and he could tell her he loved her as an adult, as a man, would he finally be whole. Even if she wanted nothing to do with him he would only be complete when he was honest with her, with himself.

You weren't supposed to find your soul mate when you were ten. You weren't supposed to love her in secret for three years. It was rule.

But he always broke the rules… and maybe she did too.

**END TRANSMISSION**

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**Word Count:** 1218

**Time:** twenty minutes

**Beta:** on hiatus

**Couples:** implied 3/4

**Genre:** Romance/Angst

**Status:** one-shot (complete)

**Author:** Lizzy Rebel

**Characters/Style:** Wallabee (Numbuh 4) reflective piece

**Notes:** Spar-of-the-moment idea. Heavy support of 3/4. Hope you enjoyed, please review and all that. Look out for up-coming one-shots. There will be more.


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